Me: Spring Break 1994

cancun

Me: Spring  Break 2017

sleep-1209288_960_720

and…..

snow

You might not know this about me, but I do not know how to relax.  It’s an issue in my house.  My husband has no problem taking a nap in the middle of the day or vegging out in front of the tv for hours on end, but not me.  When I find myself with “down time” I turn it into “do time.”  I think it’s guilt.  Not sure what it is, but I literally don’t know how to relax.  Is there a prescription for that?  (I had a massage once and it was unbearable…I felt bad for the person massaging…like I was bothering them or something…uggh!)  I’m thinking about this now because of our “assignment” to take a step back and because of today’s snow day from school/work.  I have to force myself to relax.  For me, doing “nothing” takes work.  It makes me uneasy.  Even when I am not physically moving, my mind races.  It’s exhausting.  For these reasons, I made it a conscious decision to “relax” a little more these past couple weeks.  For me, this meant not only scaling back my daily alchemical activity but also paying attention to my many other everyday activities that prevent me from relaxing.  I can’t say that I completely successful in my endeavor, but I dod become more aware of my behavior and thought patterns, which is a good start.

One thought that circled my mind quite often was about this networked community that is the netnarr experience.  I felt like I had abandoned my group.   Would they accept me back? I wondered. Do they even notice I’m gone?  I feared.   Am I the only one whose taken this hiatus literally?  Ironically, perhaps, this temporary, but much-needed break from full immersion in the netnarr realm has reinforced its power and significance for me.  What, then, will happen when this class is over?  Does the netnarrr community live on?  Time will tell…